I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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