Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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