he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
