His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I want a musical about memes.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
