Im at strip club and am horny
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
