come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I intend to get homeless drunk
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
