I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
