hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
