would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
