I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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