You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
