Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
