I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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