I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I can text with my tongue
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
