I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize