Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
