Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
and she was petting her beer can
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Enjoy the penises
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
