hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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