some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize