3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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