Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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