Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
