We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
