i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
