I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
