do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
