Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
vagina is talking i cant
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
be right there i have to get my cape
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
