Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
