so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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