if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
