WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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