Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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