I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
