Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
