I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
