I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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