Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
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