the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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