i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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