So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
