I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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