ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
