I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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