I'll bet she douches with gravy.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
