found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We left the knife in your bed.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
