Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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