Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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