Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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