I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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