hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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