Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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