Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I touched a dick in church today
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
