Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
