You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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