If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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