I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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