I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize