I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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