Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
