the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
